These conversations have been going on and on for so long. I'm sick and tired of it like so badly. Don't know why people's priorities are always messed up. Lack of communication, immature thoughts and actions are just adding more into the problem. I think god makes me deal with all these shit so that I can grow up and out of these mortal stupidity. The only consolation I get from all these is that I'm far more different from some people who refuse to get over with certain issues.
Learnt a lesson today from a talk, life is not just about taking and having everything. It is about sharing and giving. It made sense to me because I reflected on myself. I used to splurge monthly and draining almost all my allowances on clothes and etc. It gave me temporary relieve and happiness. But at the end of the month, I'm always worried and unhappy because I'm broke. Right now, I don't spend like I used to but at the end of the month I feel different. It didn't make me worse but it made me feel at ease because I have no money worries. Forsaking all these "wants" in my list, doesn't made me a worse person. By having them, it doesn't makes me a better person too. In fact, it might make me a worse person because I would grow to be selfish and greedy.
For now, I'm just trying to cultivate this attitude in me that is... before I spend that money on a "want" how can I make the best of the money instead? Can I treat my family for a dinner? Can I pay for a clinic visit when my father is sick? Can I make my loved ones happy by spending it in a different way?
Like last Xmas, I wished I had the money to get everyone a gift. Looking at that, I could have that money to do so but I spent it away for my own. So this year, I'm hoping I can really cut down on these unnecessary spendings, keep a healthy saving and get everyone a gift for Xmas 2011. Of course, I'm not talking about not spending on yourself completely. But do it in a moderate form (which obviously most of us have not been doing so.)
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