Say what?

Warning: Some angsty post.

Finally feel human again after a good sleep. It was crazy over last Friday and weekend. Sleeping at wee hours and waking up to work is not funny man.

Anyhow, yeah Saturday night was my first time to a club. But

I'm already 50% sure that clubbin' ain't my scene. I have a strong distaste for drunkards/club sluts(sorry for being so crude but hellya). Thank god I haven't met any testerone-outburst guys yet.

Well, I wasn't in the right mood from the start and I felt so pissed the whole night. That night, the club looked like it was a place that everyone gets messed up and my mind was like "wtf" the whole time. To top it off, dramas. What else can I like about it? Maybe I wouldn't think that way if I had more than a drink and then I might be like the rest.

Seriously, I'd rather snuggle into my pillows and blanket than get sardined on the dance floor. I still remember those "hungry" looking eyes from guys on the floor. Mega turned off. Think I won't be going for a second time anytime soon.

On side note, was lectured by Mom last night for going home at 3 in the morning cuz of a birthday celebration at Kbox.

The sight of her waiting on the sofa was surprisingly scary. As usual, she bombarded me with all her assumptions that I am yadda yadda materialistic yadda yadda what not. Until I told her what I was doing and what I wanted to do.

I felt so good telling her that I never lied to her, never smoked and never wanted to be an alcoholic or a clubber etc. I told her I don't doll up to attract rich guys(according to her) and I want to have my own career and be successful. I never wanted to rely on guys and will never be 3rd party/vixen.

I was strangely proud of it when the words fell on her ears. That made her stopped for a while. I told her honestly about my plans and that surprised her. After 45 minutes, I apologized for not telling her that I was going home late. At the end, we came to an agreement that I'll leave a note on the fridge next time. The whole lecture sort of woke me up from my usual oblivious self. And I would prolly be pissed if I was in her shoes.

Suddenly, I feel that I need a new direction. Because I want to be successful to make my mom proud. To shower her with whatever I can and making everyday a Mother's Day for her. Even though she isn't like the regular Mom who irons my clothes and do all the chores for me. She's somebody special with words that sometimes makes the most sense. For all she had done for us, I can't be more than thankful. Because of her harsh teachings and crude remarks, I am who I am today.