Still in love with wine red nails
Another 3 weeks before the boyfriend enlists into Army... :( Can't imagine how I'll feel on the actual day! Pat can laugh back at me when the day comes! It's gonna be tough with all the missing. :(
But on the happier note, I passed my BTT with full marks! Okay, it's not a big feat but to think that I only studied it the night before... it's a tiny matter to be proud of! FTT in another... 2 months plus! Contemplating about taking manual or auto... but I rather go for auto and pass it at a go! Plus chances of driving a manual car is so slim. Need to sign up for PDL soon and start learning asap!
Seriously, sometimes I wish I've a time machine so I can fast forward my life now. Life before 21 is a waste of time for me. At times, I really miss the schooling days. All you gotta do is to ace your subjects and be a good kid, that's all. You don't have to think of so many things, your heart and mind are still pure. Carefree and naive, mistakes are always forgiven because you're still young. When we grow up, higher expectations and demands from everyone around you, leading us to struggle with our identity and direction in life. Everyone wants to be successful and happy. But how much does it has to take to be there? I wonder what will life be if I'm not born in Singapore. Not that I'm lamenting the life in this country but just curious how much the difference will be. I wonder what lies ahead for me and what will my life be like in another 5 years.
I guess I'm in the teen-to-adult transition stage and everything looks so gloomy to me. Plus I'm that kind of person who needs a strong sense of achievement and security, it makes it worse? Okay, I'm not emo-ing here but just can't stop thinking about life... life and life... One word to describe my feeling... uncertainty.
Missing my boy now.
xx
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