& Sometimes I wonder

If I'm too indifferent about things and people around me. I do not remember details, date and etc. It's extremely hard for me to remember what I said a few days back or where I placed my stuff. Best example about being indifferent is texting. I could stop replying halfway cuz I'm busy or whatever. Or I could read and close the message without replying. It's really a bad habit cuz I always think like this, "Okay okay, I'll reply the text right after I ____." Such a bad habit that has become a flaw of mine. But I guess people who are close to me would know me best. I give a whole lotta damn to people I'm concerned about. It's no good messing with them! 

To think about it, I dislike expectations and obligations. I don't want people to be expecting me to live up to their expectation of me as their whoever. This applies to my family, friends, colleagues and even lover. I rather surprise them with what I can do instead. I guess I have lived my life too independently for the past 9 years that I really dislike the idea of sacrificing my time for  certain obligations. Mhmm and I guess that's why I'm a workaholic? Maybe it's time for a slow change...!

My mom always says that I'm her precious one that will succeed in life, my aunt always says she can't wait to see me being successful too. All I can do is keeping my fingers crossed. Because I make my life's decisions and I'm afraid of falling back. And as a friend, I will always try to be there as much as I can. You may not see me around when you've trivial problems but always let me know when you need somebody there to back you up. (i don't mean the ahlianz way!) If I were to use something to represent myself, I wanna be a star. May not be visible all the time, but once it is, it will dazzle for you. 

I guess it's just that when we grow older, we are stuck in our comfort zone and unwilling to move out. That probably explains my small social circle. As time passes, you come to realize that quality is really better than quantity. Not everyone is ready to do anything for a friend. Also, it seems like I have a good tolerance for people whom I genuinely care about. It's like no matter how bad the situation has turned into or how grave the mistake was, at the end of the day I could still forgive and forget. Maybe that's what it takes to be a true friend?